Grotesque Love
by aquagirl520
Summary: "Ne... I love Sho-chan " If Byakuran hadn't lost that day... if somehow they can pretend that nothing ever happened...  First 10051 fic, reviews much appreciated


**Hello fanfiction~ It's been way too long since my last post *smiles guiltily* It's been a really busy year for me, and I really ought to be studying, but this story popped into my head so there. The story is inspired by Hatsune Miku's "Rotten Girl, Grotesque Romance", which will hopefully make a good BGM while you read.**

Disclaimer: Katekyo Hitman Reborn and all of its characters belong to Amano sensei.

**Grotesque Love**

Shoichi forced his eyes open.

The Vongola X and Byakuran stood face to face, both worn down by battle. Tsuna stood with his gloves forward, and Shoichi could tell from the steadily brightening glow they emitted that the charge for the X-burner was building up.

He did not want to look up, did not want to see the result of all his effort over the years. Years of planning and plotting, each move, each carefully modified and positioned Ten Year Bazooka was calculated. It had all gone to plan. It was all for this moment. But he felt no relief, no sense of joy.

He had miscalculated: He never expected those years in college with Byakuran to be the happiest of his life. He never realized how painful regaining the memories would be, to find out that those years were seeded with lies and deceit.

Shoichi forced himself not to look away from the white-haired man, even when his eyes burned from the bright light and moisture threatened to escape.

A shiver went through him when he realized that Byakuran was looking directly at him, the corners of his lips upturned in a small but definite smile.

An accusing smile.

"_Sho-chan betrayed me. I'd known all along~"_

It was said in the same playful manner, but Shoichi was sure that he had detected- but it couldn't possibly be true- disappointment underneath.

Byakuran raised a hand, his violet eyes still focused on Shoichi, and he was still smiling. He felt a sudden chill.

_Fear._

Tsuna released the X-burner. There was a deafening explosion. Shoichi found his vision stolen by a sudden flood of light, and he blacked out.

_Sho-chan betrayed me…it's okay, though, I don't mind~_

…_Because I love Sho-chan~_

* * *

><p>What is that smell, he wondered? It was a scent strong enough for his sense of smell to acknowledge but too faint for him to make out.<p>

Come to think of it, where is he?

Shoichi opened his eyes to find himself staring at a Blood & Peppers poster taped onto the ceiling. The tape was yellowed from exposure to sunlight, and the edges of the poster was frayed, just like the poster he woke up seeing everyday back in-

He sat up with a loud gasp, and saw that he was lying on the bed of his dorm room in college.

"How did…" he stammered, looking around in disbelief.

He stood up to get a better look at the room. Books and half-finished papers littered the space, unwashed laundry hung on the backs of chairs…

He shook his head, trying to clear it. What is that scent in the air? It had gotten a bit stronger now that he's fully conscious. He looked around, trying to find the source, but it faded away again.

_Clang!_

Shoichi jumped at the sudden noise. He had kicked over an empty Coke bottle. He bent over to pick it up, but dropped it immediately with a yelp as ants swarmed out of the small opening in a wriggling black mass.

Shoichi took a few deep breaths, trying to calm himself.

What… Why is he here? Is this a dream? Shoichi pinched himself. It hurt. Then…was it possible… that everything else- the Mafia, the Ten Year Bazooka…- had just been a bad dream?

What day is it? What year? Shoichi had no idea. Throwing on the coat hanging on the back of his chair, he opened the door and rushed downstairs, hoping for something, anything, to answer the questions piling up in his mind.

His footsteps echoed loudly as he ran down the empty stairway.

The normally bustling hallway was also empty, magnifying the hollow rhythm of his footsteps. Shoichi frowned. Was everyone in class?

He almost screamed when he rounded a corner and nearly ran into the cleaning lady, who was dutifully mopping the floor.

"Ah, good morning, Shoichi-kun." She greeted without ceasing her movements with the mop. She smiled, the lines on her face wrinkling. "Aren't you late for class? Your friend already left."

_I am?_

"Ah, I-I guess…" He said, scratching his head. "Er…what day is today?"

"Hmm? Yes, you'd better get going, ne? Your friend is surely waiting for you…" She said, seeming not to have heard his question.

"Ahem… do you know what day it is?" Shoichi tried again, louder.

"You have class with Professor Zell now, don't you?" She said, still smiling, the mop in her hands going back and forth, back and forth on the already spotless floor. "You shouldn't keep your friend waiting… what was his name now, Byakuran?"

Shoichi felt a sudden chill. Cold sweat ran down his neck as he stared at the cleaning lady, who had turned her attention away from him now, and is humming softly as she stood rooted to that one spot, the mop going back and forth, back and forth.

"Um," He began again, raising his voice slightly. "What I said was-"

She looked up again, and Shoichi froze. For a split second the woman's eyes looked dazed and unfocused. Then she smiled brightly.

"Ah, good morning, Shoichi-kun."

Shoichi scrambled away from her, nearly tripping over his own feet as he did so. The woman was unperturbed by his actions. She kept smiling as she repeated the conversation again, as if on a loop. "Aren't you late for class? Your friend…"

Shoichi ran, leaves scuffling under his feet in sync with his heavy pants as he left the building and into the empty road.

He ran to the classroom, throwing the door open with a loud crash. The classroom was filled with students, and Professor Zell was scratching an equation on the blackboard in the front of the room. No one paid Shoichi any attention when the door slammed open. There were no low whispers or passed notes. Row after row Shoichi saw students scribbling into their notebooks, their jerky movements simultaneous and unnatural.

Only one person appeared alive in the room, seemingly unaffected by the eerie atmosphere.

"Ohayo, Sho-chan~"

"B-Byakuran-san!" He stammered, perplexed. "I don't- I mean…"

"Shh, you're not supposed to talk so loud in class." Byakuran said, smiling, though he himself made no effort at all to lower his voice. No one turned to look at them, however, and the synchronized sound of pen on paper never ceased.

The professor had finished writing down the equation, which covered the whole board. Then he erased the board, and started writing the exact same thing all over again.

Shoichi felt panic coarse through his veins. "W-What is this? Where are we?" He asked.

Byakuran laughed. "What are you talking about, Sho-chan? We're at school."

"This isn't-" Running towards the professor, Shoichi wrenched the chalk from Professor Zell. The old professor's movements halted, but then it resumed, his right hand ghosting over the blackboard as if he hadn't noticed the absence of the chalk. "Wake up, professor! Professor!"

He received no response. Reaching out, Shoichi pulled a notebook from the desk of a girl sitting in the front row. She made no move to retrieve it, nor did her hand still: She now scribbled on the desk, pen scratching the wooden surface.

"What happened to them? …Where are we?" He demanded, his voice shaky with panic.

"Like I said, we're at school." Byakuran smiled, crossing the room. "Didn't Sho-chan say that being at school with me is the happiest time of his life?"

"I-I…"

Byakuran stepped closer to him, lifting Shoichi's chin so that those hypnotic violet eyes peered into fearful green ones.

"I want Sho-chan to be happy~" He said, grinning. "So we'll stay in school forever~"

Fear coursed through Shoichi as he stared at the man before him in horror. "Byakuran-san-" His voice was cut off though, when Byakuran leaned down to whisper in his ear.

"_Because I love Sho-chan~"_

Shoichi stiffened. With a cry he pushed the white-haired man backwards with all the force he could manage and ran. Adrenaline pushed him forward as he ran blindly, his muddled mind with only the thought to get away.

He couldn't see past the front gate of the school. Thick mist pooled outside, making everything past the open gate a blurry white. Shoichi stumbled into the nothingness without sense of direction. He could hear Byakuran's voice calling him far away, and his only thought is to run from it. Something inside of him screamed at him to run, to escape, and he could only stumble on ahead.

Gradually, the mist began to clear. Shoichi stopped dead in his tracks.

Right before him was the gate he'd just left. And against it leaned Byakuran, who wore a sad pout.

"Why is Sho-chan so eager to leave me?" He asked softly, walking forward to grasp Shoichi's wrist in a grip tight enough to make the redhead cry out. "Does Sho-chan want to go out? You can ask me if you do, or you'll get lost~~"

Forcefully he pulled Shoichi along, back into the mist.

Byakuran seemed to have no trouble knowing where he is. He hummed a tune cheerily as he pulled Shoichi forward, walking surely and confidently.

"This is-"

The mist cleared again, enough for their surroundings to be seen. It was the park they had often gone to during their years in college. Byakuran had often insisted that Shoichi leave his room to get some sun, and this was where they'd bring their lunches and discuss the developing game of Choice.

But Byakuran didn't linger here. "There's a lot of places I want to show Sho-chan~"

The diner outside of campus that was a favorite of theirs, the candy shop where Byakuran bought all those marshmallows he loves so much, the amusement park that Byakuran had dragged him to once, insisting that he needed time off from studying… All places where memories lingered…

"Nothing else is important." Byakuran said, turning around to grin at Shoichi. "I left only the important places~"

They were back on campus. Shoichi felt his knees go weak, and he slumped to the ground. Byakuran had let go of his wrist, but the touch seemed to linger, burning. His head spun, and his stomach was starting a violent protest, but nothing can compare to the pain in his chest.

"We'll be very happy, ne? So Sho-chan shouldn't run away…" He was aware of only Byakuran's voice in his ear, and that faint, unidentifiable scent, as consciousness abandoned him once more.

* * *

><p>"Sho-chan~~" Byakuran said, setting a tray with food before him. "I brought dinner~"<p>

Shoichi said nothing, and made no move to break his deadpanned stare out the window.

"Sho-chan's been ignoring me for three days now." Byakuran frowned, turning Shoichi's chair forcefully around, so that he faced him. Shoichi looked at him expressionlessly.

"Ne, ne… why doesn't Sho-chan smile?" Byakuran pouted childishly, leaning down until the tip of their noses touched, close enough for Shoichi to detect the scent of marshmallows in his breath. "People should smile when they're happy, ne? So Sho-chan has to smile~"

"…"

"Sho-chan said that being in school with me is the happiest time of his life…" The violet-eyed man murmured tenderly. Shoichi said nothing, but Byakuran was certain he saw a flicker of emotion in the sea of emerald. He smiled. "I was so happy to hear Sho-chan say that~"

Their lips touched. Byakuran's tongue sought Shoichi's forcefully in a fierce, demanding kiss, while Shoichi struggled in vain to pull away.

_I don't want to see this… I don't want to see Byakuran-san like this…_

He felt a sharp, sudden pain, and tasted blood.

"Sho-chan's not paying attention." Byakuran said warningly, lapping up the blood on Shoichi's lip where he had bitten him. "…So, was Sho-chan lying after all?"

_NO! _Shoichi wanted to yell, but nothing more than a pained gasp left his lips. Byakuran smiled at the response he was finally getting.

"…Maybe I'm not good enough for Sho-chan?" Byakuran's voice was dangerously sweet as he cocked his head to one side, studying Shoichi's face carefully.

Suddenly, he broke into a delighted, crazed grin that sent chills up Shoichi's spine. "I've just remembered~ I got Sho-chan a present~"

"What-" Shoichi began, his voice hoarse from the lack of use, but Byakuran had already rushed out the room.

He came back in a few minutes, towing behind him a large wooden box.

The scent that had been bothering Shoichi got stronger, and Shoichi gasped with horror as realization hit him and it dawned on him just what that smell was.

_Death._

"No! Don't!" He screamed, his voice breaking, but Byakuran paid him no heed as he lifted the lid. Shoichi gagged as the pungent scent of decay flooded his senses.

Byakuran lifted what remained of Sawada Tsunayoshi from the wooden box, and set the limp body onto the chair opposite the one Shoichi was sitting on.

Shoichi screamed. He wanted to run, but all strength had left him. He retched but could throw up nothing but bile. Tears spilled from his eyes as he began to shake uncontrollably.

Ignorant of his reaction, Byakuran grinned happily. "Isn't it a great present? Look closely~ the person Sho-chan left to follow…"

The body had already undergone days of decay. It had been sloppily stuffed into a suit, the shirt stained with fluids. Behind the hastily buttoned collar was blotched, blackening skin. There was movement under the shirt, and maggots, bloated from consuming the marbled flesh, crawled out from the spaces between buttons.

The eyes had already succumbed to decomposition, and when Byakuran lifted Shoichi's chin forcefully he found himself staring into lifeless glass eyes, loosely fitted into the sockets.

"Does Sho-chan like his present? I've got others as well, see?" Byakuran summoned up a holographic picture with a device in his hand. It showed a lab of some sort. Against the walls of the lab, mounted in a row, were the Vongola guardians, glass eyes staring blankly ahead. Byakuran's trophies. "They're my guardians now."

"No…" Shoichi gasped.

"Sho-chan must really like his new friends, to leave me behind." Byakuran continued, his eyes cold despite his playful tone. "I can give Sho-chan whatever he likes, even these 'friends'..." Maggots were thrown to the grounds as Byakuran waved Sawada's arms around, as if playing with a doll. "But I made sure they can't move anymore, so they can't take Sho-chan from me again. Sho-chan is mine~"

Shoichi tried to speak, but he choked and threw up again, his throat burned, turning his words into a hoarse, anguished cry.

"…Because I love Sho-chan." Byakuran said solemnly, smiling.

The words struck him with full force. Helplessly he curled himself into the chair, his body quaking with violent, involuntary sobs.

He couldn't look at the violet eyed man before him, couldn't bear to see the madness in those eyes that he had caused, couldn't bear to imagine the ordinary person he could have become if they'd never met.

_My fault… it was my fault… Byakuran-san…_

He felt Byakuran's hand in his hair. He hated himself for, despite everything, wanting his touch.

Byakuran leaned down and lapped at Shoichi's tears, the tip of his tongue tracing patterns down his cheek form the corner of his eye. He frowned at the salty taste. "Ne, why is Sho-chan crying?" He murmured, wrapping his arms around Shoichi.

"Don't cry… this doll is broken, I'll get rid of it~" Standing, he picked up Sawada's body and tossed it back into the box carelessly and effortlessly, as if he never considered for a moment that it was what remained of a human being. Or more likely, he didn't care.

There was a clatter. One of the glass eyes had fallen out of its socket, rolling towards Shoichi and stopping short of where he sat.

_Your fault._ It said.

He screamed. Anguished sound pouring out until he could summon no more air from his burning lungs. Tears spilled until they too have run dry. By his ear he heard Byakuran's gentle croons.

"I love you, Sho-chan… We'll be just like before, ne? Sho-chan…"

_Too late!_ His mind screamed. _Too late!_

Shoichi went limp and fell to his knees on the ground, dry sobs wrenched from his throat and shaking his entire form.

"…_Sho-chan… I love you, Sho-chan…"_

* * *

><p>Shoichi lost the will to fight after that night. He played this pathetic game of made-belief happiness.<p>

Every morning he woke staring at the Blood & Peppers poster, allowed Byakuran to dress and feed him and take him to their supposed 'classes', and tried to respond to the other's cheerful conversation, struggling to keep up this laughable illusion. Every night he went to bed with Byakuran holding him tightly in his arms.

He was a living doll, forced to partake in this twisted game, forced to taint the memories he treasured. It hurt that even now, he blindly wishes that this were real, that they were really back in time.

"I love you, Sho-chan…"

Sometimes he wondered if this was really so bad. Sometimes, he lost himself in the warmth of the other's arms. Sometimes he wondered if this could work, that they could go on pretending and somehow it will come true.

"Byakuran-san," He said on the morning Professor Zell scratched onto the board the same equation for the thirty-four thousand, five hundred and sixty-third time.

"Hmm?" Byakuran swallowed a handful of marshmallows, and pushed one into Shoichi's mouth.

Shoichi allowed the marshmallow to melt in his mouth before continuing carefully. "I want to leave here."

Byakuran raise an eyebrow, eyes glinting dangerously.

"I-I meant this school." Shoichi amended quickly. "I want to go… somewhere else…"

"…" Byakuran stared at him thoughtfully. He was silent for so long that Shoichi was beginning to think about taking his words back. Then he grinned.

"How careless of me~ Of course we need a break from school~"

Byakuran took him to the amusement park they'd gone to in their junior year.

Shoichi smiled when he thought back to that day. A displeased Byakuran had found Shoichi studying the day after exams and had insisted that they go somewhere fun.

Everything was so close to his memories that Shoichi was convinced that they had indeed gone back to that day. He closed his eyes, wanting to maintain this illusion forever. He felt tears burning his eyes, and he quickly blinked them away, forcing himself to smile.

"Where does Sho-chan want to go next?" Byakuran asked cheerily, pulling at Shoichi's hand.

Shoichi looked up at the giant Ferris wheel in the middle of the amusement park.

He looked out. As their gondola rose higher into the air, Shoichi could see the heavy mist of nothingness that surrounded the borders of the amusement park. The illusion frayed and broke apart.

The gondola swung slightly as they stopped on the very top.

"Byakuran-san…" Shoichi whispered, before his lips crushed down on the white-haired man's. A marshmallow-flavored kiss that tasted unimaginably bitter. Toxic.

_I love you, Byakuran-san._ He thought desperately.

It was his fault.

If they hadn't met, the Vongola family would not have been slaughtered.

If they hadn't met, Byakuran could have led an ordinary, happy life.

If they hadn't met…

If Irie Shoichi disappears, would Byakuran be able to lead that life? Now that he has every parallel world, would he somehow be able to rebuild everything, start anew?

If…

Shoichi smiled, and threw himself off the gondola.

…

…

…

… Heavy, metallic stench of blood, thick and suffocating…

Pain…

Darkness…

…

…

…

…

...

Light.

...

...

…The Blood & Peppers poster.

...

"Ohayo, Sho-chan."

...

"…Ne, I can't believe Sho-chan tried to leave me again… but it's okay…"

...

"…_Because I love Sho-chan."_

* * *

><p><strong>AN: This is my first attempt to write something horror-ish. I wanted to tackle something different than my usual fanfictions, and hopefully I did all right with this. Please review and tell me what you think~**


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